The Elephant in the Room

This blog post is dedicated to all my conservative family, friends, co-workers, Facebook friends, or random strangers, such as Ann Coulter. 

How about that Barack Obama eh? High five? Oh no, ok ok, I won’t gloat in front of you because God forbid I be happy about something that is very important to me personally.  I may not gloat, but I will discuss the feelings I have been feeling and some experiences my liberal friends and family have been experiencing since Election Day.

 

#1—It’s ok for you to put me in a box (not a literal box if anyone was confused), but the minute I start with any kind of statements or evidence against the Republican party I’m overgeneralizing and you are “so offended.”

 

Exhibit A: Oh it’s all fun and games and “LOL’s” when you re-tweet and share Tim Tebow’s tweet from earlier this week:

However when I post a map comparing the map of the US and its territories in 1846 and the 2012 Election Electoral College map, I’m stating that if you voted for Mitt Romney you support slavery...

 

Let me state on the record, this map comparison has nothing to do with the support of slavery.  It is an historical comparison of the polarization of two distinct regions of the United States.  History has affected these regions and many issues have divided these regions (including slavery), but in 2012 it is not the issue of slavery  that divides these areas.  You could place any modern day social issue into the 2012 Electoral map, such as same sex marriage or repealing Obama care.  The Civil War among other events in history shaped these regions and their values. So while you blatantly call Democrats lazy and unemployed and I make an educated historical argument, I’m the one overgeneralizing and being offensive.

 

#2-I’m not open to your views.

Yes, I will admit that sometimes it is hard for me to wrap my mind around conservatism not because I do not understand it, but it is sometimes hard for me to comprehend how people can think in such a way.  However, telling me I’m “close minded” or not open to your ideas is ridiculous.  I understand conservatism and I actually don’t mind some of its principles: Trickle-down Economics and the privatization of government agencies and programs. They don't work in practice, but they are decent theories.  So thanks for the lesson in basic political science, but save it for your NRA meetings.  I have many friends who come from different backgrounds and beliefs.  I’m open to all opinions except when specific policies that your party and specifically your presidential candidate support not only discriminate against me, but the people I love.  I didn’t support Mitt Romney because the area of gay rights and women’s rights is no longer a grey issue between the candidates.  The Romney/Ryan ticket 100% believed that gay Americans should not have the same legal rights as their straight counterparts even promising a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage (a freaking  constitutional amendment!) and that women shouldn’t have the right to their own bodies even in instances of the horrific act of rape.  You support a party platform and a candidate who clearly discriminates against you and your family and friends.  However, I’m the close minded one….

 

 

#3-The Republican party is an inclusive party

As a political scientist stated on NPR yesterday, “The 2012 Republican National Convention looked like a Klan rally, the 2012 Democratic National Convention looked like America.”  The demographic make-up of the United States has changed and will continue to change.  10% of the electorate is Latino and ¼ of the voting block is single women.  Three more states legalized same-sex marriage and Prop 8 and DOMA will be on the docket for the Supreme Court later this year.  The country is evolving, but the Republican Party is not.  The citizens of the United States stood up this week and yes we may only be 51 or 52% of the majority, but we stated, “You will no longer treat us differently because of our sex, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status.”  You continue to support a party who has the platform that continues to divide us.  I’m not saying stop being a Republican, I’m saying the Republican Party is a hybrid of what it used to be.  It is no longer the party of Lincoln; it barely even resembles Reagan’s policies.  I truthfully believe it is the party of fear.  Legislate against all the things we fear, because our society is so rapidly changing and this strikes fear in many people. 

 

I know this election only made things more heated on social media and around dinner tables and water coolers this week.  However, I’m not going to apologize for my comments or the comments that will come years after this post.  There is a difference between respecting people’s opinions and fighting for equal rights.  This election was a turning point in our history and has opened up the flood gates for equality and advancement in many areas and I’m very excited to see what the next four years will bring.  So please feel free to throw words at me, “Un-American, lazy, welfare supporter, non-traditional.”  However, I have one request …say it to my face. That's right, look me straight in the eyes and tell me how your party is supporting gay rights, women’s rights, immigrant rights, education, social welfare, public health, health care reform, childhood obesity, the economy, hate crimes, and the environment.  I believe there are times in history where we have to stand up for what is right and not apologize for our actions along the way.  The next four years will be one of those times.  So no matter if it’s at school, work, the beauty shop, or at church: don’t be afraid to speak up for equality.  We aren’t “over generalizing” or “pointing the finger”; we are fighting for our rights.  So if the shoe fits, there is an elephant in the room.  Are you going to run from it or look it directly in the eyes? 

 

-Ross

 

The Ghosts of Halloween Past

We all remember dressing up for Halloween, especially in our primary grade years.  From witches to vampires, we all got excited to put that cape and wig on and stroll the streets for the best candy. (Note to self: Go to the rich neighborhoods). In the Gregory household Halloween was celebrated by first going to Grandma and Grandpa's in Suppesville to get a bag of candy from Grandma and most likely a bag of quarters. I secretly think my Grandma Gregory mints her own coins, but that's for another blog.  Then the next step was to drive the 11 miles to Cheney where of course we would start at Granny and Grampy's where I probably just went to get a Mountain Dew.  Then it was off to the Ingrams' where Debbie had something always had something special waiting for us. The night would most likely end on a stroll through the Rodeo Drive of Cheney Kansas aka Lincoln Street.  From Evelyn's house (my piano teacher) to the Haden's (St. Bernard picture below), and then to the Voth's at the end of the cul-de-sac, it was pretty much the candy jackpot. 

And now a photo montage with my great commentary:

The first Halloween pic I found of myself, I went as a "Jack-O-Latern." Peg was stretching it this year.  Sidenote: Memorize the costume my sister Meredith is wearing on the far left.

Surprise, I'm wearing the same costume! I think Mer went as a cute bunny the year before and I'm a sexy bunny this year.  I'm not sure what Mer is this year, but it looks like some kind of a-sexual bear or something.

Peg decided to buy me a new costume this year.  So we went as Superman and Superwoman.  Not so super with your broken arm are you Superwoman....Cousin Chance got to wear the risque costume of the year going as a sexy mouse.

My favorite costume of all time: the pig.  Oh yes, I'm wearing pink sweats, hoodie and coat.  Peg made me a tail out of a plastic slinky...Pretty genius right?  Mer went ahead and joined the circus like we had always wanted her to and Rochelle went as  "Pissed off Rizzo".  You know Peg had a hand in this, since we all are coordinating with our hints of pink.  Mine really isn't a hint, but you get the point...

Another tough year in the Gregory household as another costume idea is recycled... PS Mer you ain't fooling anyone, that's your dance recital outfit not a costume.

This was our Goth phase.....just kidding. 

Another great costume idea, "The Bum."  Including the built in cigar to the mask a la early 1990's. 

Finally, Batman and Catwoman take Lincoln Street at the Haden's. Peg sewed Mer's costume, it of course was the non-sexy version.  I call it "Catwoman Mormon Version."  I'm not sure why we took our picture by this, but I guess it has something to do with the popularity with the movie Beethoven at the time....

 

As I get older, Halloween like many other holidays makes me more sentimental.  We remember the fun we had and the people who are no longer with us.  So take some time the next few days and dwell on your Halloweens of the past.  What was your favorite costume? Who handed out the best candy on your block? So if the shoe fits, you're a sexy bunny (again).

 

Trick-or-Treat,

 

-Ross

My Thoughts on the Olympics Thus Far...

The Olympics captivate the world unlike most other events.  They challenge us to be better Americans, better teammates, and better citizens of the world.  Above all they stand for peace and humility in a world that at times is overshadowed by darkness and hate.

Oh enough of that poetic crap...here are the top 5 things that are annoying me about the Olympics thus far...

1. The Opening Ceremony

We get it you are British. Well poppycock! Look at these pictures of hills, cliffs, and thatched roofs.  Frankly I  was not impressed by the ceremony. I know China is hard to beat after the robotic precision that was displayed in 2008, but I think this ceremony justified why we dropped your asses in 1776 or is that arses? Oh, and yes Queen Elizabeth it wouldn't hurt you to smile. Girl lighten up!

2. This B With the Huge Microphone

We all have seen her...  I personally like to call her the "dream killer."  She always likes to throw it in the swimmer's face when they haven't achieved gold.  "So Michael can you tell me what was going through your mind when you lost?" or "Ryan, you did very well last night, what went wrong tonight?"  I'm just waiting for the night she pisses off the wrong American swimmer and they knock that gigantic microphone out of her wrist.


3. This Russian Diva

I don't remember her name I think it' s Maria or Katianna or Putin or something.  Anyways, dang this girl has an attitude on her.  I'm not fluent in Russian, but I know a good eye roll when I see one and well if they gave away medals for that....winner, winner chicken dinner!

4. Glitter...Need I Say More?

So I guess the Russian women got confused and thought they were going to prom.  Maybe it's a similar word to London in Russian, who knows?  Just stick to the chalky hands ladies, your slicked back fairy-dusted hair-dos are not flattering. 

5. This Dynamic Duo

Ok you all have been thinking it this past week as you have been watching the swimming events.  These two love birds sit literally millimeters apart and gaze into each others' eyes as they talk about strokes......I mean welcome back to the London Olympics!  All I know is these two need to get a room or learn about their personal bubbles.  Plus if you haven't noticed it yet, you will tonight and it's almost more awkward when they are standing...

In the Olympics we dare to dream and to achieve greatness. So if you have a big microphone in someone's face or glitter in your hair, if the shoe fits....you are annoying me.

USA USA USA!

-Ross

Like Me: Finding Strength in the Smallest Gifts

  Me with my Teddy Ruxpin.  Pretty much the best gift ever.  It is not what my title is referring to, but look how bad ass I look!

 

 

At times in our lives we all face adversity.  It could be because of our race, gender, sexuality, or even our socioeconomic status.  I was reminded of this last Saturday as I went through a training session to volunteer at the Like Me Lighthouse.  The Like Me Lighthouse was started by country music singer Chely Wright who grew up near Kansas City and has come out as the first openly gay country singer.  The Lighthouse strives to be one thing above all: A safe place for LGBTQ youth. 

 

The center provides resources many resources, including a full library and connections to support groups and agencies in the KC area.  I chose to volunteer not because I’m a trained counselor or expert, but because I want to be there to listen and to be visible.  The center also houses a direct line to the Trevor Project hotline which provides 24/7 counseling support to youth contemplating suicide.  The trainer during my session told us that the Trevor Project’s data showed that more phone calls were made to the hotline in the state of Missouri than any other state in the nation.  This disgust and scares me at the same time and I have a feeling Kansas is not far behind Missouri in the number of calls. 

 

 

We have all faced adversity, yet we also have had people and moments in our lives that help us rise up against it.  One of my biggest pieces of  inspiration stems from one of the simplest gifts I ever received: a high school graduation card.  The card was from my dad’s cousin Teddy Gregory.  Teddy was a very special guy.  He was born with polio and although he could have been a bitter and cynical human being, he was the total opposite.  Teddy was the epitome of kindness and self-determination.  He may have been in a wheelchair, but that didn’t stop him from having a full and rewarding life. Teddy passed away a few years ago and was loved and admired by many people.  In the card him and his wife Eileen gave me for my high school graduation in 2003, he wrote this simple sentence:

 

 “Your Grandpa bragged about all of his 9 grandchildren, but he always said you were different and special and that he knew you were going to change the world.”

 

I still get that card out and read it when I have one of "those days".  The days when I feel like I serve no purpose or the days I feel like the world is working against me.  My main mission in life is to lead by example. I’m a true believer that equality will not happen when it comes to gay rights, until more of us are vocal and present in society. Anderson Cooper said recently in his now infamous email: 

 

“I’ve also been reminded recently that while as a society we are moving toward greater inclusion and equality for all people, the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible.” 

 

I want my story to be a constant example to those parents who refuse to speak to their son or daughter after they come out, remember my story, my face, and how happy I am and how much I am loved and supported by my family and friends.  Also, I want my story to be a glimmer of hope for that kid who grows up in a small town and feels like he/she can’t relate to anyone around them.  It doesn’t only get better; it’s like Christmas morning every day.  Be brave, be strong, and above all, be you.

 

So my hope is that you all find that passion and you all find that one thing that you want to make better in the world.  No matter how small the difference you think you are making, you could be changing the world for hundreds.  Find your inspiration, find your strength, and lead by example.  I hope to lead by example with what both my grandfather and cousin Teddy taught me about compassion, hard work, and pure humility.

 

If the shoe fits, you are changing the world in your own little way, and I know that I am.

 

-R

The Wild Wild West

We are a nation of explorers and of dreamers.  From Lewis and Clark to the 49er’s of California, millions of Americans moved across the vast continent of North America to find a better life out west, including many of my ancestors.  They tilled the land, raised livestock, and even tried to find their fortune in gold mining.  There were no 8 hour work days or vacations; our nation was built upon their blood, sweat, and tears.  

 

 

So as that nation of dreamers we decided in the 1980’s to think it was cool to dress up like cow town residents and take family pictures.... Oh and to let your 5 year old hold a hand gun pointed right towards the whole family (I can't help it that I was gangsta that early in life.)

 

 

 

 

 So if the shoe fits, your mom has convinced you to wear a racoon hat in not one but two pictures.

-Ross